Two weeks ago I received some great feedback about my blogs, in particular two people saying my writing had humbled them. Given how small a blog is at the start, and how likely it is to remain small, I have wondered about whether the effort involved is worthwhile. Even posting once in a while can still take up a fair bit of time, especially since then I feel like I need to put more effort into the rare blogs that I do make; this is on top of the issue of using speech recognition, and how slow I am due to avoiding being in front of a computer for too long. However, the reasons why I started writing blog posts remain the same, and given my recent health it remains one of my constructive outlets, even if it is small and really only for my benefit.
As I have started writing (dictating) stories about my life, I have considered how this will impact any people who were involved. So far I have contacted several people about whether they are happy with me discussing incidents they are involved in, and currently everyone has said yes; I have more people to ask. I am focusing on good situations, but since negative incidents can lead to re-examining ideas and improving myself, I know I need to be respectful about them as well. Like just about everyone, surely everyone, I have been involved in several negative incidents, from role-playing session flare-ups as a teenager, to leaving a LARP I cared about for reasons I didn’t explain, to professional disputes at a games company, I have pondered whether it is lying via omission to avoid mentioning incidents, or to mention but not explain, especially since they often helped shape many of my ideas. My conclusion is that I would rather focus on the positive, plus I am also aware that incidents occur generally for more than one reason, and often all parties played a factor and thus share part of the blame; I want to avoid needing to make a pie chart based on my perspective of allocated blame.
After leaving KJC games I started writing a role-playing (RP) guide. I had many reasons for doing this. Although some of the customers had a great understanding of role-playing, others didn’t. Additionally, at the time no one had written a players guide to RP, and there were very few GM guides, most of which I did not rate. For my RP guide I pondered whether to include an anecdote section, it was already pushing over 300 pages so adding anecdotes seemed like overkill, as well potentially a negative thing. Eventually I decided to write a lot because then I could decide on a case-by-case basis, but for all of them I tried to be neutral and constructive with my conclusions. It was interesting writing them, mostly because the majority of them occurred when I was a teenager. Reflecting on them was funny, especially since I had learnt a lot more since then. This resulted in giving me better insights in to my youth, and helping to further clarify my decisions about gaming and the consequences of things, and in a few cases radically changing an opinion.
It occurred to me that my concern about blog posts is similar to my thoughts about my RP guide and anecdotes. I think trying to maintain a respectful attitude is best for all involved, particularly me; this is my mission statement for the blog. I reserve the right to write (dictate) a rant, but I think it would be a big mistake to do so. I contemplated writing something more dramatic, or poetic, than this, but the spirit of what I have written is what matters to me.
Personal update: my injured left shoulder and neck were made worse at the start of this week due to an emergency stop in a vehicle. Due to the area’s weakened state I now have whiplash, resulting in the pain feeling as agonising as when the injury got really bad, and the knock-on sleep issues.